Vani’s Musings

Valentines Day

Posted on: February 14, 2007

No, This post is not one of those glorifying Valentines Day. I am tired of all the hype surrounding it. Some may think I am naïve, yet others may call me a fundamentalist, but I have reached the point of no return when it comes to the hype surrounding Valentines Day. Enough of those stupid red balloons and cupid’s posters. 

Here is a brief account of St Valentine and how this practice came into being. Valentine’s Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia. The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl’s name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

 Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. T

he good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270.

At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honor of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavored to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine’s Day for the celebration of this new feast. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

And, why is Valentines’ Day celebrated in the West? Legend says it is in honor of St Valentine who performed secret marriages for Roman Soldiers who were forbidden to marry. So if they are doing it in honor of someone who did a service to them, why, pray, are we copying them blindly? As far as I am aware, no king in the history of India ever forbade his soldiers to marry.

Personally, I do not think that you need a special day in a year to tell someone, not just exclusively your girl / boy friend that you love them. I feel that it leads to a lot of pretence on both sides, and is not an honest platform to declare their love for each other. 

And teenagers are the easiest to fall a prey to the sidey advertisement tactics of businesses benefited by this hype. If not for Valentines, why would anyone buy a single rose for something like 200 Rupees? From where is this money flowing into their hands? Will no one question them? Don’t we as responsible elders have a responsibilty of ensuring that our children are under proper care and guidance regarding spending money?

Time we stopped this blind “monkey-see, monkey-do” copy from the west. 

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19 Responses to "Valentines Day"

I was expecting this from you today 🙂

A small sparrow told me that.

Read http://prabhukrish.net/2007/02/13/happy-turpentines-day/
which is a funny take on this.

Anyway your dictonary is worth the read. Keep it up.

Strong views Vani…. I agree with u when u say that one does not need a special day to be earmarked to let their loved ones know that they love them….. For the true…Every day is Valentine’s Day n Friendship Day n Mother’s Day n Father’s Day…n the list goes on….

Oh God, Mohan…too much? And I think I can guess the name of the sparrow who told you…

I never said anything about too much!!

BTW, interestingly the marketing monkeys are at it again in more disgusting forms.

Sending hate cards with yellow rose to your ex, ex-ex girl /boy friends.

BTW , these dedicated days are u rightly say are for the family/relationship deprived western world only.

too much was about the post you directed me to! Really a masterpiece antha, ashte. And why waste money sending even hate cards? It’s enough to ignore the person’s presence in the world…. 🙂

Atleast a post in up after a long time, firstly that made me glad!

Balloons maja bere.. I got one of those red balloons which I managed to buy it in the traffic signal, & gave it to him.. !!! Atleast I loved that facial expression which actually wanted to say … ‘ ningen maadakke kelsa ilva’….! Ha Ha Ha !!!

Hate Cards conceptualise aadre mostly hit aagatte mohan, many people would be waiting for it.. Many a times, I have seen people with a deep grudge for a broken relationship.. enilla andru nu neenilde naan chennagirteeni anthaanaadru torsokke!! though its not a advisable thing from myside.

What a contrast in life.

How can a person first LOVE and then HATE the partner so soon?

Isnt it than fake love in first place or infatiuation?

Mohan,

As love grows, so does hate. And it does not happen in 1-2 days like you think, it takes its own time, once the initial flush of love is through, the only thing people notice is the flaws in their partner. And then things go to such a level that they start doubting their choice, and the result is a break-up.

Veenakka,

The attitude that you mentioned is needed for sometime atleast, in order to maintain sanity, that is the only thought that will give motivation to go forward in life. Beyond a time, people generally tend to rethink, and decide that it’s really not worth the effort.

Yes Vani… I agree to your point to certain extent. It is a good thought to think about moving forward in life, but there is no point in hating that person for whosever fault it was. One of the options is to say, ‘We were not for it’.. May be..
Since I dont have any experience about all these, I can only comment on others experience which is not a very good choice.

I still remember that vague confused experiences that my parents had when some marriage proposal didn’t work out for me.. They generally tend to dislike the whole idea of somebody dropping the idea to marry their daughter, because they always thought their daughter is the best or what ever….
Its true with all parents I guess… !

Mohan, Yesterday I was smiling at him & was telling that ‘ I have missed the most enjoyable part of my life’. Having an early crush or getting infactuated etc., 🙂
May be fortunately or ‘un’fortunately I developed my crush with other hobbies & goals I had 🙂

Vani,
Suddenly you have becoming a “loving expert”…. 🙂

BTW am just observing the 2 different end points and your observations are correct.

All human beings just hang around that 2 end points at different times and with differnt people (modern way) But, its strange about this swing thats all.

Love -Hate relationship is a must in healthy relationship, thats how bonding gets stronger is my view. Without these emotons anybody’s life would sound hollow and becoe mechanical i feel.

every day is everyone ‘s day as Diya siad, we should learn to live our life fully, as the bonding gets stronger…. we will relive again on the memeories (since we will be old by then)

BTW My favorite memory is nandi bettadh kal benchu :d

Valentine day or fathers day mothers day and many more day’s in the year were totally promoted by these greeting card/ gift shops and flower vendors in union to market their stupid goods and help public in creating a junkyard in the showcases.

Any day and any life of an individual is special and well celebrated if his/her near and dear ones repects, loves and takes care. Its totally mutual and with affection.

Usha,

Admired those thoughts around… Yesterday myself & Srik were just talking about your zeal to do it what you like, though you don’t have that modern Go-Getter attitude.. I think you know better to choose…

Nandi bellad kal bench tanaka hogbeka jagaLa maadokke 🙂 🙂
Reminds me that movie beLLi mOda for some reason, the hero does the same to heroince, swings around these two emotions royally!!!

Life is all about doing what you like alwa veena, maathra we have to make sure our doings are majoritily liked by people around us too ashte..

nandi bettad kall bench tanka hogo ashtohottige jagaLa marthhogiratte.. adhe pointu 😉 mainagi pressure cooker thara adodh bittu aramvagidhre jeevan sukhamaya … adhe art of livingu…

sooooooooooooper usha..specially 2nd para…
‘Majority’ in the first para is a point to be questioned!! This is a challenge most of the time… 🙂 ! Well, nimmanna nodi naavella kaltkoteevi bidi.. Pressure cooker anthu sakkat maja tantu.. Exactly true…

http://thatskannada.oneindia.in/news/2007/02/15/mcc_dresscode.html

Atleast I liked the idea …! This is rather a good move.. This article deals with both Valentines day & school children.. we have been speaking a lot on both the headings.. so posting this link here 🙂

vani
good post and lot of inputs and history is given
My sister also wrote about valentine’s day in her book
can you recollect. she had also given a small link to what you have said.
I agree all these are needed when you miss the people and need cards and flowers to say where human relationshipe and values are totally missing. but we are great followers of west!!!!!!!!
that’s bharat mera bharat mahan
I dont remember anybody buying cards etc., for birthdays may be 3 decades back in small places but today disease is spread everywhere
all days all cards available everywhere there are people who will buy
any how for country like india this also giving some body to earn their livilhood

Pranesh avare,

Hogli, livelyhood kodthide andre aa mathu bere, here the ones benefitted are MNCs like Archies & Hallmark! Where is the question of livelyhood?

And flowers look good on plants. I would say a better gift would be to take someone to a garden like Lalbag where they can appreciate the beauty of those flowers on the plants.

vani
eventhough the major chunk goes to these Archie’s and Hallmark but certainly a portion will go to people involved in these industries design printing and also no. of salesmen/women/.boys/girls who are employed by these franchises that is what I meant. do you agree

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