Vani’s Musings

A Point to Ponder………..

Posted on: October 10, 2007

  It’s been a week, and it refuses to go away from my mind. I am talking of very disturbing news I received the last week. It set me thinking, and I felt I would get some insight into it from my readers.

 So here goes.

 M was a diligent worker my father had employed more than 10 years ago. He had been with us through thick and thin and was a reliable person, one to go and solve crises, whenever they arose. 

M accepted another offer a couple of years ago, and was working there ever since. He had been unhappy from the last couple of months and was speaking of coming back. Dad said it was ok for him to come back anytime he wanted.  He spoke to Dad just the previous Sunday and said he wanted to meet him, and Dad spoke to him that evening and the gist of the conversation was that he would report to work the coming Wednesday. 

 Things are smooth so far.

Now, on Wednesday morning, M’s father calls up, and we hear the inevitable. M committed Suicide, by hanging, the previous night. 

What I do not understand is, why do people suddenly decide to take such a drastic step? 

 Did M not stop to think of his aged parents, his wife and his little daughter? Did he not feel that he was responsible for them? Why did he become so self -centered? Did he feel that his dying would put an end to his miseries, what ever and however serious they may have been? Did he not realize that his problems would haunt his family even after his death, and that he could have found some solution?

 I have several more questions buzzing in my head, and wish M were here to explain the logic behind his action. Sad, but the ultimate truth that the questions will remain unanswered, for ever now.

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8 Responses to "A Point to Ponder……….."

Very sad to hear that, Vani. Sometimes, we can never understand why people do the things they do.

From what I have heard, when a person is in severe depression, he tends to do things which he is no even aware that he is doing. Who knows, probably this was the case with him?

Anyway I hope his family gets the strength to tide over this difficult time.

sorry to hear about losing someone who has been very reliable. may his family members get all the strength to bear this situation.

Thinking about this, I wonder if his family could sense the amount of depression M was going through. Even though if he was un-happy at other work location, he had made up his mind to make a come back. so, i would assume it wasn’t the work situation. His personal health? financial health? family relationship health? – there could be various reasons.

I know it is easy for outsiders (like me) to make comments – but I believe, most issues can be resolved just being open and honest; being more transparent with loved ones; being more communicative; over all self respect and will to overcome situations – if something caused him to go that route.

Unfortunately, i have heard most people using such words in their day-to-day conversation (noticed in movies too) [note: i don’t know if should write those kannada words here]. for some odd reason, people think, that is the ultimate solution for all miseries.

It is very sad to hear this very unfortunate situation where a family consisting of aged parents and wife and little daughter are put into an unexpected hardship and misery. when he had been assured of job by your father his old employer there was no need for such drastic step but now all we can do is only discuss and unfortunate event has happened and hope the family will get all the strength to bear the loss of the bread winner for family. in life nothing will stop the afected family has to undergo suffering and limp back to normalcy in course of time and time is the healer. hope they will have some one to support and make their life co mfortable in the days to come
may the departed sour RIP

His family will some how survive, but the burden of not looking after or not standing for an important person M remains on it for as long as they live. What has the little daughter done to spend her life without a father? You can not blame the deceased also, since he would have had 1000s of reasons for this inevitable step…

ONly thing is…we tend to equate our ‘problem’ as the biggest and solutionless, where as the item called problem is existant only in our language, not anywhere else…. There is a solution to every of the ‘problem’, but the problem we create for life must be bigger than any of such silly things…. sounding too abstract? But thats how it is… universe is not the sufferer, it finds one more M, but M will he find a better place? NO… wherever he goes, he has to face something similar. There is no escape… problems are ever existant, we have to distinguish between the problems that are cheap and problems that are worth living with..!
Isn’t it?

RIP M.

Wow this is really a thought provoking post

Have written quite a bit on suicide…

the ultimate treatise on psychology

——-
Have read a bit of Freud here and there but there were some really amazing relevations on the wiki page on Freud.

According to Freud, people often experience thoughts and feelings that are so painful that they cannot bear them. Such thoughts and feelings-and associated memories-could not, Freud argued, be banished from the mind, but could be banished from consciousness. Thus they come to constitute the unconscious.

But the understanding was mostly through intellectual rationalisation. What an unfortunate irony, that none of that nor his vast knowledge could help him face the very same thoughts and feelings that he might’ve seeked to escape through smoking. That the final failure of which is said to have led him to seek the ultimate in false escapism – suicide:

Freud was an intense smoker, and had to go through more than 30 operations during his life, due to mouth cancer. Eventually, he was so tired of the illness that he asked his doctor to help him with assisted suicide.

read on: http://msanjay.weblogs.us/entries/508/the-ultimate-treatise-on-psychology

——-

who is successful?

————
Recently I came across an article about a Police Inspector, who had received quite a few medals in his name from his office, had a family – wife and kids, and a nice big house. All signs of what we conventionally consider as success.

The article said that after some altercation with his wife, he’d shot himself and committed suicide.

read on: http://msanjay.weblogs.us/entries/455/who-is-successful

———

Last but not the least the time when yours truly had considered the shortcut called suicide…! 😀

——–

There was no other option. Suicide came up as a passing thought initially. Over a few days, it looked like the best, most elegant solution. Eventually it became the only possible solution. It would solve everything.

So he planned. He spent many days together thinking about its execution. He used his intellect to justify it in every possible way, and then think about different ways to kill himself.

Read on: http://msanjay.weblogs.us/entries/191/flashback-considering-a-shortcut

——-

hey btw Vani you’ve been tagged (ages ago)! check out my home page for details – but no obligations just forget/postpone indefinitely if you’re too busy 😉

it’s unfortunate and my deep condolences to M’s family. Its very sad that many suecide and suecide attemts are for very sill reasons. I think Vetran Journalist Sainath tells better about the Suecides in Villages. Just for mare 2000 to 5000 many lives hav been lost. That money is just fraction to the earning or avg. earnings of cities.

It may bit off topic. I think the Lack of spiritual Quotient is the reason for Suecides. Aaseye Dhukake Mula. But it takes lot of guts to suecides(could try out lol!!).

Miss Vani I have become your huge fan by reading your articles. Would you please consider me as your student and teach me how I can improve on my English . I would like to express my thoughts & opinions like you. Please guide me I should become like you.

Regards
Tejesh

vani madam one more student added. :D!!!!!!!!!!

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