Vani’s Musings

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

I write this with a heavy heart……….I am unable to stop the tears from streaming down my face, but I have to do it to come to terms with my loss.

Person with the greatest will power I have ever come across, A born fighter, a dynamic personality, his amazing memory, his love for travel, his enthusiasm…… who was able to be a 3 year old with a 3 year old, a 30 year old with a 30 year old and 60 year old with one of that age……………

How can I describe this dear uncle of mine? He was all of this and much more that I cannot find words………

His never-say-die attitude was his biggest strength……anyone speaking to him would never get an inkling of the deadly disease he battled…..he never ever once cribbed that he was suffering, I never heard him pity himself that he was unwell……

Each time I went to his house, the first thing I would do after saying hi was to run to his room, dig under his pillow to find his diary…………it was my source of news from the time of my previous visit ……… was just not a record of his day to day activities…… would be filled with snippets of philosophy, jokes, and anything he found out of the ordinary…………

I found that diary today, lying orphaned, without its owner…….the last entry in that diary is on the 1st of September 2009………I was tempted for a moment this morning to scream “maama, why havent u updated your diary?” and then suddenly I peeped out and saw his mortal remains lying in the hall, and realised that that diary would never ever be updated again………..

He just left us suddenly and went away to his maker…… leaving us with a huge void and memories to last for ever…..

I will  miss you, N Maama, rest in peace.


Life’s taken an about face. Life changes radically, so I was told, but did not take it seriously. But yes, the winds of change have blown in my life too, and I enter a new phase of life with the good wishes and blessings of my near and dear ones.

Hope to keep the writing streak on more often  henceforth.

What does one do when one faces a dull boring weekend? Especially for someone like me who works six days, the prospect of spending two days at home seems dreadful, since I like the every day challenges at work. I think I am a bit weird, because everyone else loves to have two days off, whereas I crib that I don’t have anything to do during the weekend, especially on Sunday evenings.


After suffering so, I decided to do something about it, and last Friday evening, my colleague M and I decided that we would head off by ourselves on Saturday to some place out of Bangalore and spend some time away from the jarring routine.


We had to attend a colleague’s wedding at Channapatna last week and due to some unavoidable circumstances, both of us pulled out at the last minute. Our main agenda behind going to Channapatna was to visit the Aprameya Temple at MaLur, which is around 5 KMs from Channapatna. We decided that we would head there this week to make up for missing out last week.


We took a bus from the Satellite Bus Station on Mysore Road and reached Channapatna in an hour’s time. We spent quite some time at the temple and the temple authorities also served lunch. Post Lunch we had a little time to explore the town, and after we reached the Bus Stand, we set off on a small walk to the town center. Channapatna is a small sleepy town with little activity, but Saturday being the weekly market day, there was a buzz in the market place with all sorts of little shops selling all sorts of things. Mom had given me a basket to buy veggies there, what with the cost of veggies skyrocketing in Bangalore. Me did a little veggie shopping while M cribbed that she couldn’t shop enough because she didn’t have a bag big enough to hold all the sundry things she purchased.


After filling our bags with enough stuff we decided to head homeward and a casual enquiry with the locals revealed that there was a train to Bangalore in the next half hour. Since I am utterly crazy about train journeys, M gave in and we decided to get back to Bangalore by train. We found that the train fare was lesser than the bus fare and the journey would be twice as comfortable as by bus.


The railway station was typically the “Malgudi” sort, a little station with hardly any movement inside. The station master was a friendly chap who told us about the various trains that passed by and he also spoke about the current track change that was going on. The workers who were doing the track rectification were a merry gang. They sang folk songs and made the heaviest and toughest of jobs look like child play.


We had a good time watching the men at work, going about their job with a smile and with perfect co-ordination, since many lives depend on the way they would lay the tracks. The weather was perfect, the setting serene and the mood, peaceful.


But then as they say, all good things have to come to an end, and so did this sojourn with the shrill shriek of the train’s horn. It was fairly empty and joy of getting into the train caught up. I am always excited to get on a train, and this time was no different. It was a good journey and we feasted

on  Maddur Vadas and Coffee on the way.


We reached Bangalore in an hour and then headed home, filled with a sense of peace and carrying memories to last for a long long time, ready for the challenges that lay in store.






If I were asked to list out things I hate about the people around me, I’d probably put one vice more prominently than anything else, and that would be Channel Surfing.


I am not much of a TV person, and my average TV time in a day is around 30 minutes, sometimes stretching to an hour. But most of the time, these 30 minutes are punctuated with arguments and disagreements about why a particular show must or must not be watched, because of the men around me who are particularly fond of this hateful exercise called Channel Surfing.


Wiki  says that Channel Surfing is the practice of quickly scanning through different radio or television frequencies in order to find something interesiting to listen to or watch, and is also linked with laziness, inattention and hyperactivity. Wiki  also says that it’s a very common feature among men, though women are not immune to it. I myself am no exception, but my Channel Surfing is limited to the radio on my phone, and I guess I’d be only disturbing myself in the process.


What irks me is that the men in my house pick the exact moment to surf  channels on TV when a show would just about be getting interesting, and no amount of protesting stops it.


Worse, there are uncalled for and unrequired comments about the stupidity of the show, and how the anchor or the artistes are sloppily dressed, their drab and emotionless dialog delivery, and ultimately how we women are hooked to silly shows, and how they men are very “intellectually inclined”.


At this stage, we generally give up , and tell them we’d be happy to watch anything they want to. Then they don’t stick to one channel….I think their attention to each channel is hardly 5 secs, and I cannot fathom for heaven what conclusion they can draw about a program in 5 secs.


All they like is the 1500th rerun of some program on Discovery Channel where a tiger runs off with the carcass of a deer, and the gory scenes of the tiger ripping the deer apart with some silly monologue is repeated and repeated again.


Then the news channels. On them, I can write reams……………..the same news, repeated in quarter hourly intervals, in different versions on different channels. So are they satisfied watching one of  them? No. They want to go to another news channel to find out if someone is telling them the same thing in yet another version.


Why is it that they are unable to actually sit through a program for 30 mins?

Is it that they feel they aren’t being given enough attention? Or the very thought of interrrupting what others are watching gives them some sort of high?


I wish we had only good old DD, and everyone would then be compelled to watch one program at a time, and I could throw the remote away. But what with the advent of more channels, I think I’m fighting a losing battle. And I’m sure several of you out there agree with me.









Last Week was hell……….first I lost Cash, and the next instance, within just a couple of days, I lost my cell phone L.


Both times I had been distracted, first time when I lost cash, it was because of the incessant ringing of the phone, and then when it was the phone, I was called by my higher-ups and so had been to answer the call of duty.


I had been utterly careless on both occasions, and felt that it was a fitting alarm for me to be more careful about my belongings in future.


It’s been really bad. I’m not able to digest that my phone is no longer with me, considering that I had purchased it after waiting quite long to update the previous instrument, which was nearly 4 years old. I wanted some particular features that were available on the particular model that I had chosen, and the black color was very elegant.


And the worst thing is that all my important contact numbers are now gone for ever. Of course, I did get my SIM blocked instantly and had a duplicate SIM within hours, but the phone not working depressed me no end.


One of my co-workers has been kind enough to lend me his spare handset to use until I get another instrument, and the instrument is not one that I am comfortable handling. But since beggars cant be choosers, I am making do with it.


The Phone Company no doubt gave me a duplicate SIM, but to add insult to injury, they said that the new SIM was not “matching” the old one and I made endless calls to Customer Care who did not guide me correctly as to the remedial procedure.


Anyway, finally, after 3 long days, I found that my borrowed phone had a network connection and was working. Now it is time to store numbers, which is a huge task in itself.


Anyways, that’s my story of being incommunicado and feeling helpless. It’s not been long since Cell phones entered our lives, but just an hour without them makes us feel that we’re hopelessly lost.


I’d like to use this post to caution all my readers to be more careful with their belongings and not repent for lost stuff like I’m doing right now.




We are at a cusp…the end of 2007 and beginning of 2008.

 I felt it was time to take a moment and savor all the bitter & sweet moments of this past year. 

2007 has been special in more ways than one. I felt it was time to count blessings and thank the Creator for bestowing so much on us.

 It was on the 1st of January 2007 that I decided to take the plunge…into the blog world. From then on, there has been no turning back.

 It was this year that I got back long lost friends, people who I had missed for long.

 It was this year that my blog and BaLaga helped me trace cousins from long lost family branches and friends from school that I had lost contact with. 

It was this year that I made a major professional transition, a decision that changed my life and way of thinking and made me very different from what I was. I met 11 beautiful people, my batch mates, who make each day worth looking forward to. The very thought of meeting them all spurs me up every morning and each challenge and obstacle is tackled with grit and confidence. 

It was this year that many of my friends became proud papas and mamas and welcomed little princes and angels into their lives. I wish all of them lot of happiness in the years to come.

 It was this year that I met a cousin, whom I hadn’t spoken to, in that past 12 years. Arni Narendra, I think catching up with you was one of the biggest things that happened to me this year.

  In retrospect, I think this has been a good year, bar stray bitter moments, but they too have passed without much damage.

 On this note, I thank everyone for being with me this year, wish everyone a very happy, prosperous and safe new year, and hope for an equally good, if not better, 2008. 

  It’s been a week, and it refuses to go away from my mind. I am talking of very disturbing news I received the last week. It set me thinking, and I felt I would get some insight into it from my readers.

 So here goes.

 M was a diligent worker my father had employed more than 10 years ago. He had been with us through thick and thin and was a reliable person, one to go and solve crises, whenever they arose. 

M accepted another offer a couple of years ago, and was working there ever since. He had been unhappy from the last couple of months and was speaking of coming back. Dad said it was ok for him to come back anytime he wanted.  He spoke to Dad just the previous Sunday and said he wanted to meet him, and Dad spoke to him that evening and the gist of the conversation was that he would report to work the coming Wednesday. 

 Things are smooth so far.

Now, on Wednesday morning, M’s father calls up, and we hear the inevitable. M committed Suicide, by hanging, the previous night. 

What I do not understand is, why do people suddenly decide to take such a drastic step? 

 Did M not stop to think of his aged parents, his wife and his little daughter? Did he not feel that he was responsible for them? Why did he become so self -centered? Did he feel that his dying would put an end to his miseries, what ever and however serious they may have been? Did he not realize that his problems would haunt his family even after his death, and that he could have found some solution?

 I have several more questions buzzing in my head, and wish M were here to explain the logic behind his action. Sad, but the ultimate truth that the questions will remain unanswered, for ever now.